Monday, February 2, 2009

25 Things Blacks Don't Wanna Hear or, I Hear You, Dyson but There're Really No Sistas in Africa Named Shaquana!!!

1. We think street culture is Black culture;

2. We spend more time and energy on our appearance than on how we actually feel inside;

3. We'd rather stay stuck in victim mode than take responsibility for our bad choices;

4. We think wanting our hood to look nice is a bougee thing;

5. We think dog fights are fun;

6. We don't hold our local politicians accountable;

7. We don't mind the gay thing as long as it's just entertainment;

8. We'll buy an $80,000 truck rather than spend $10 on a self-help book;

9. We need a messiah and a White family court judge to make us act like good, responsible neighbors and parents;

10. We think inhaling paper bag and dye is real cigar-smoking;

11. We wear wigs because we despise what natural hair represents;

12. We still got issues with skin color or there wouldn't be so very few dark-skinned sistas in our music videos, and when we do see them they usually have on crazy long weaves;

13. We make boring and predictable music videos;

14. We say it's just a fashion statement and not a sign of arrested development when our boys walk around like toddlers because their pants are so low;

15. We encourage our boys to be unemotional then turn around and ask why they're so detached;

16. We think Michael Jordan is a heroe, not for all he does for the Community but because of how many 3-pointers he can shoot;

17. We don't mind young Black females being exploited in our music videos, as long as they're not our daughters when they actually are;

18. We'd rather call each other nigga than brotha because it's too much work to change the way we address and treat one another;

19. We know sexual abuse exists at the family table but we're reluctant to talk about it;

20. We love having annual State of Black America summits to talk about what's wrong vs. what we plan on doing about it;

21. We think street soap opera books is serious reading;

22. We suffer from depression, internalized racism, religious indoctrination, and denial;

23. We'd rather Cosby just make us laugh than tell us what we need to hear;

24. We'll support a singer who likes urinating on girls to the point where we'll even buy the video, but we got a problem with same sex marriage;

25. We can't handle the truth.

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