Thursday, November 24, 2011

Pause, Reflect and Eject: A Note to Parents

My understanding is that we’re here to bring forth a well-adjusted young man; to bring the spark back in his eyes. The same spark he lost some time around junior high school, and maybe even before that, when the world went from amusement park to war zone. Let’s not ask what they don’t hear. Young people hate stupid questions— What’s wrong with you? Why do you stay out late? Who are you hanging around? Did you do your homework? Try, instead, Are you happy? Are you happy living here? What is it like to be you? How can school become more fulfilling for you? What am I not getting? So let’s put the punitive approach aside and find alternative ways of relating to our handsome young man, without all the judging and usual chastising, but to allow him to process and relate back in his own way. Let’s press PAUSE, REFLECT and EJECT old ways of parenting and teaching, since he’s not responding to traditional formula. Pause to notice what isn’t working. Reflect on how it felt when you were his age and add to that his indifference, disillusionment and functional depression. Eject your assumptions about him and start from here.

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