Tuesday, June 5, 2012

A Father's Day Gift

I didn't just write it for him. This book's for you also, the parent. Because we can't expect him to answer to poor choices and not look into our own...

"Considering how most couples fuss over wedding plans but not on the marriage itself and how their children will be raised, they forget or avoid serious discussions on choices, intentions, sense of responsibility, accountability and timing...What was it about my father/my mother you found so attractive that's got nothing to do with his/her looks?...What was more important? The wedding dress or getting along? The bachelor party or sharing the same definition of what a marriage feels like and looks like?...Did the two of you go over health issues on both sides of the family tree?...How long did you date each other before I was born?...Were the two of you financially ready to even have a child?...
Some of us have dads who want to make up for their absence. If you have an opportunity to reconnect with your father, you're allowed to ask him the following questions:

1) Do you have any proof that you appealed to a judge to be allowed to see me?

2) Did you keep any receipts showing you paid child support, but was still not allowed to help raise me?

3) Are there any letters you wrote to me or my mom that were either never sent or returned to sender?

4) Do you have any photos of me or of us together?

5) Can you name any relatives who can back up your efforts to father me?

Might be wise to give him a chance if he answers one yes and let him be there for you in a way he couldn't before. Not just monetarily, but to help you understand your ways and this crazy ride called life...When Shaq made the decision that a missing father wanting to do the right thing after so many years passed--years his mother spent nurturing and protecting him without a word or penny from the man--deserved a respectful but firm 'no thanks, she already filled your shoes', it sent a loud message to all fathers who make babies but don't raise them..."

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