WRITE!!!

Note to self: Write not to be popular, but to fulfill a void. If you save a life, you fulfilled your role in the greater scheme of things. If you piss some people off, those will most likely be the ones who were already pissed off at you for pointing out the void. WRITE!!!

A Father's Day Gift

I didn't just write it for him. This book's for you also, the parent. Because we can't expect him to answer to poor choices and not look into our own...

"Considering how most couples fuss over wedding plans but not on the marriage itself and how their children will be raised, they forget or avoid serious discussions on choices, intentions, sense of responsibility, accountability and timing...What was it about my father/my mother you found so attractive that's got nothing to do with his/her looks?...What was more important? The wedding dress or getting along? The bachelor party or sharing the same definition of what a marriage feels like and looks like?...Did the two of you go over health issues on both sides of the family tree?...How long did you date each other before I was born?...Were the two of you financially ready to even have a child?...
Some of us have dads who want to make up for their absence. If you have an opportunity to reconnect with your father, you're allowed to ask him the following questions:

1) Do you have any proof that you appealed to a judge to be allowed to see me?

2) Did you keep any receipts showing you paid child support, but was still not allowed to help raise me?

3) Are there any letters you wrote to me or my mom that were either never sent or returned to sender?

4) Do you have any photos of me or of us together?

5) Can you name any relatives who can back up your efforts to father me?

Might be wise to give him a chance if he answers one yes and let him be there for you in a way he couldn't before. Not just monetarily, but to help you understand your ways and this crazy ride called life...When Shaq made the decision that a missing father wanting to do the right thing after so many years passed--years his mother spent nurturing and protecting him without a word or penny from the man--deserved a respectful but firm 'no thanks, she already filled your shoes', it sent a loud message to all fathers who make babies but don't raise them...".

684 Pages of African History

Later this month, I'll be at the CEMOTAP CENTER with some other serious heads to help answer the question: "Is Black Unity Even Possible?". This comes at a time when I just finished reading 684 pages of African history and how we had tribal wars, egotrippin and yes, slavery way before the first European arrived. Wasn't as atrocious as American slavery, but we had slavery; and it's not a rumour. Some of us helped the slave catchers in exchange for goods. It's important to remind ourselves not to romanticize African history like everything was butter til 'the White man' came cos it wasn't. That's how foreigners, including Muhammad and the Pope, were able to divide and conquer. Same way they took over while Native Americans were busy at each other's throats. Same way they take over our hoods when we do nothing but trash em, and then complain. So to me, asking if there's even such a thing as Black unity means also asking what and who we mean by unity and family. And how much more dividing are we gonna tolerate before realizing everyone admires us but us? I'm just sayin...

The Griot

Earlier this month I went to check out a film called The Griot. Wasn't the first time I learned about the original Rappers, but first time seeing Senegal pay homage to Ayiti. The beautiful West African images were a nice break from mainstream. Sitting there in the dark with all the other indes, I felt a strong sense of pan-African pride. And I was dazzled by the gigantic/majestic trees reaching high above ground/across landscape, like scenes from Avatar. Where Haiti waters back to Benin is when you see carabans turn into tap-taps. To understand griots, you have to understand spiritual matters; to understand Rap music, especially gangsta rap music, you have to understand past and current social ills. And it's not this man who's playing the kora, but many men playing; just like it's not me writing my books, but many speaking for you.

Mother's Day is Every Day

Not every mother acts like a mom; and you, dear one knows this best. And sometimes fathers have to make up for the void. But this doesn't mean you can't still celebrate WOMAN. Cos she comes in so many different tender ways, from grandma to auntie to kind neighbor to Mama Angelou. So you too have a sweet, wonderful Mother's Day. Today and every day...

Message to a Young Lady

Males are not calculus. We treat you the way you allow us to treat you

How long does your weave need to be before you realize you're already lovely just the way you are?

If you think he's a dog, then stop feeding him puppy show

Misery loves company, and your shady friends want your company



If you want advice about males, you ask another male. Not a bitter, angry female who'll only help you stay single

Pretty outside and ugly inside is ugly outside

Your tone of voice is the one accessory you don't pay enough attention to

Pop-poppin your gum in a crowded closed in space doesn't show how cool you are, but just how annoying you can be

Who you associate with doesn't necessarily define you. Hanging around those who help you fall says a lot about you

A diva has her own apartment, pays her own bills and buys her struggling parent a ticket to Tahiti

Going natural is a socio-political statement, not a fashion trend

Love is not OMG he's fine! Love is OMG he came thru for me!

The Terminator

Sometimes I feel like Stanley Crouch. The terminator of Black folk mess and author of The All-American Skin Game, Notes of a Hanging Judge, Reconsidering the Souls of Black Folk and In Defense of Taboos. Cos we both like to 'go there', even when it's not popular to do so. We both see the need for healing which begins with us and the need to step out of formula thinking and move inward and onward which still begins with us.

I asked Crouch why we haven't heard from him lately, especially since so much been happening in and out of the hood. Our expectation to have our Prez raise our children and make good choices for us seems worthy of the literary beatdown we usually get from the hanging judge. But I forgot about his first love which is jazz and writing about jazz. And so I just let the good fortune of running into him at a tribute to a sistas function lead the rest of the convo with a smile...